Hatsune Miku - When I get home my wife is cosplaying as a magical girl (家に帰ると妻が魔法少女のコスプレしています。)

HobonichiP is... a weird vocalo-p. He's got more than 300 songs and they're all strange. The compositions are simple and the lyrics absurd, and that's really great and stylish in its own way. Today's song is actually a parody of a song he did some years ago (which was already a parody of a Yahoo Answers Japan question. More info here) featuring magical girls from the outstanding anime Puella Magi Madoka Magica.

家に帰ると妻が魔法少女のコスプレしています。

When I get home my wife is cosplaying as a magical girl

ドアを開けたら妻が倒れてる　左腕につけた円盤 「大丈夫？」と聞いても「それには及ばないわ」とか言ってるし 赤い目をした白いぬいぐるみに　モデルガンを突きつけてたり 「思い通りにはさせない」とか　もう「訳が分からないよ」 家に帰ると妻が魔法少女のコスプレしています 「私の戦場はここじゃない」とか話ついてけない ある日はマスケット銃抱えて「もう何も恐くない」とか言って 頭にシャルロッテ被ってたときはドア閉めようかと思った 後片付けも結構大変で　床に使い魔並べてたり マミられたままで晩ご飯作るのは勘弁して欲しい 家に帰ると妻が魔法少女のコスプレしています 明日は僕と契約してくれとかできるだけスルーで 結婚前は忙しくても一緒に同じアニメを見ていた 徹夜で４巻組ボックスセット　一気に見たりしたのに 結婚直後初めて部下を持ち　アニメ見る時間無くなった 家で一人で見る妻の気持ちを考えていなかった 家に帰ると妻が魔法少女のコスプレしてるのは あの頃の二人に戻りたいからか　僕にはわからない 家に帰った僕を待ってる妻のコスプレ見ることが 僕ら二人の愛の形ならば　それはそれでありだろう 家に帰ると妻が魔法少女のコスプレしています 今日はどの魔法少女になるのか期待して開けるドア

When I open the door my wife’s collapsed on the floor with a disc attached to her left arm ① I ask her “Are you alright?” and she answers  “There’s no need for that” ② Pointing a model gun at a red-eyed white plush ③ Saying things like “I’m not going to let you get your way” ④ and I’m  “That just doesn't make sense to me” ⑤ When I get home my wife is cosplaying as a magical girl Babbling “This isn’t my battlefield” ⑥I just don’t quite follow her One day she was holding a musket saying “I'm not afraid of anything anymore” ⑦ And when I saw her head covered by Charlotte ⑧ I thought I’d close the door on her Cleaning up afterwards is quite a chore, with the familiars lined up on the floor ⑨ I wish she wouldn’t remain Mami’d while cooking dinner When I get home my wife is cosplaying as a magical girl She asks me to make a contract with her tomorrow but I try my best to ignore it Before marrying, even though I was busy, we’d watch the same anime together We’d pull an all-nighter and watch a four volume box set in one sitting But immediately after marrying I got my first promotion and became too busy to watch anime I didn’t consider the feelings of my wife watching all by herself The reason why when I get home my wife is cosplaying as a magical girl Is because she wants to return to those times together? I don’t really get it If watching my wife, who waits for me expectantly, cosplaying is the form of our love, then I guess it’s fine… When I get home my wife is cosplaying as a magical girl I open the door wondering which magical girl she’ll be today

① The wife is cosplaying as Akemi Homura from Puella Magi Madoka Magica, evidenced by the disc in her left arm.
② One of Homu’s catchphrases.
③ The plush doll is Kyubey, another character from Madoka.
④ Another quote by Homura.
⑤ A recurrent quote from Kyubey.
⑥ Even another reference to Homuhomu.
⑦ She’s now cosplaying as Tomoe Mami from Madoka, with that quote being the title of Episode 3 of the series.
⑧ Charlotte is one of the witches in Madoka. It’s closely related to Mami for reasons I won’t explain here (watch the series, it’s one of the best anime ever!)
⑨ Familiar: “ A demon supposedly attending a witch, often said to assume the form of an animal.” (taken from Google Dictionary).

I want to translate more of this P's song, they're just so quirky and fun!